IPL 2024 Dramaverse | Bada Bantai Season 1 Episode 1 – Gangs of Mumbai
Welcome to the IPL’s Big Boss wherein the showrunners perpetuate drama in the name of team building to keep Mumbai Indians perpetually in the headlines. In today’s delayed episode (thanks to the ‘censor’ board labelling the show top sensitive), battle lines get drawn between two warring factions.
It was not a normal day at Antilla. Unlike the typical quaintness of the preposterous urban monument sheltered inside a vertical garden, the fifth floor of the 27-storey building echoed with noises as loud as its blatant display of obscene wealth.
“Please papa, all I ask is one more chance. This time I guarantee you the purple cap,” Arjun pleaded but the prayer fell on deaf ears.
“One more chance? ONE MORE CHANCE? 24 years I toiled, gave my blood, sweat, and tears to become THE national icon. But now everywhere I go, all I hear is Sharmaji ka beta this and Sharmaji ka beta that… the nation could have been chanting Tendulkarji ka beta but AE VEDYA, YOU RUINED IT ALL!”
“S-sir?”
“WHAT IS IT?”
“I’m sorry to interrupt sir but I’ve been told I need to take the blessings of the batting coach before my training can begin,” Dewald Brevis stuttered as he bent towards Sachin’s foot.
“AGAIN? Do these guys have no creativity with their pranks? I am not even the batting coach, your man’s over there.”
“SERIOUSLY? Him over you?”
Brevis turned around quicker than the Little Master ever had to avoid the death stare that followed his instinctive outburst and nervously walked over to the towering figure of Kieron Pollard standing in the corner of the room. However, before the Proteas could offer greetings, the Caribbean giant turned around and rage immediately burned in his eyes.
“Are you freaking kidding me? I literally had double your average at an insane strike rate in the SA20 but they chose YOU to play and gave ME this meaningless job? I CAN’T EVEN MAN–”
On the opposite side of the room, Mohammed Nabi and Mark Boucher were profusely shaking hands with Akash Ambani.
“Thanks for not polluting the group with those arrogant self-righteous Aussies man,” the Afghan whistled and his Saffa counterpart fervently nodded, finding rare common ground.
“Seriously mate? I’m right here,” a disgusted Tim David interjected.
“Brother even I’m not that blind, you Singaporean impostor,” Boucher snapped.
“Ooookay, that was COMPLETELY unnecessary,” Nabi hurriedly retreated from the scene as did the others around him, only to end up bumping into Lasith Malinga. The Lankan stumbled, falling over his protege Nuwan Thushara who accidentally released his practice sling and the Kookaburra went flying at compatriot Dilshan Madhushanka, ruling him out for good – commotion ensued.
Sachin did not miss a beat and grabbed hold of Gerald Coetzee, Luke Wood, and Kwena Maphaka who had been hovering around Lasith hoping for a lesson and got them down to task training his young 24-year-old son – a brilliant showcase of the opportunism that enabled him to garner 34,000 international runs, right there.
Meanwhile, in the adjacent gymnasium, a motley crew was busy toiling hard with the weights.
“How much do you bench?” Romario Shepherd brashly enquired from the spin trio Kumar Kartikeya Singh, Shams Mulani, and Shreyas Gopal.
Before any of their enthusiastic selves could venture a response, the three’s faces droped in unison. Shepherd curiously turned around to find Piyush Chawla busy munching away on a plate of deep-fried samosas and a tall glass of lassi. The West Indian left the gym stat, and the others followed.
All this time, the senior Indian contingent remained blissfully unaware of the action around them, having been afforded a room of their own.
“I swear on my life he’ll come,” Ishan Kishan said in an attempt to make himself heard.
“Pasha eda hogaya hai (Brother has gone crazy),” SKY retorted with a smirk.
“Chhote start speaking some sense, why the hell would he abandon a team that has reached two successive IPL finals and begun to build a fanbase at an unprecedented rate,” Jasprit Bumrah echoed in agreement.
“That too as captain. Who in their right mind would lead the helm to be fourth in the pecking order?”
“I’m telling you I am sur- wait, fourth? No, no, no, he is going–”
Before Ishan could offer the much-needed clarification, the doors swung open with aplomb to reveal a lean, swanky figure with a headband and a gold necklace around his neck strutting inside almost in slow motion. Every head was turned in his direction and a halo burnt bright over his temple. Okay maybe that last part was the players’ imagination but so one would interpret from their expressions.
However, before the essence of it could truly sink in, an announcement disrupted the teams’ trance.
“All centrally contracted Indian players please make your way to the confession room,” Big Boss’ voice reverberated.
Jasprit and Surya walked over to Hardik and shared gleeful hugs, letting him know how excited they were to have him back in the fold. The three of them playing under the tutelage of the Hitman, it would be like the national team all over again. The smile on Hardik’s face faded for the briefest second only for the typically arrogant smirk to take over as he silently nodded in unison.
Meanwhile, a befuddled Rohit peeked his head out from under the pillows amidst all the commotion and let out a loud disgruntled sigh upon learning of the announcement.
“Kya ye wo kar rahe apan log? Dimaag ka wo hogya hai ekdam, usko jaake wo bol dega mai,” he angrily ranted to no one in particular before unwillingly trotting over to the confession room with everyone else.
“You have been invited here for an exclusive competition named Changing of Guards – the 2024 MI Captaincy Challenge,” the eerily similar Big Boss voice declared.
Jasprit and Surya exchanged a quick glance with their eyes gleaming, the long-sought opportunity having finally arrived. Every era must come to an end, after all, and it was time for their ascension. Little did they know what was in store next.
“The first direct elimination round is the Instagram challenge. Take out your phones and announce the number of followers you have on the platform – only the top two shall remain.”
“Hah, Hardik bhai has more followers than these two combined,” Ishan blurted out and immediately regretted his words upon looking at the deflated faces of Jasprit and SKY. In an attempt to compensate, the young dynamo stood up on his toes and placed a comforting hand over their shoulders.
“At least you guys can still be the Ranji Trophy captain.”
As it turned out, that was the final nail in the coffin. The duo hesitated a little in placing a hand behind his knees and lifting him like a prop before launching him outside the door. A sneaky nod to the cameras followed to confirm the message to the BCCI Kingpin of what needed to be done.
“Now, a series of three rapid-fire questions that shall determine the winner,” Big Boss continued.
“Remember, go with your instincts. Question one, where do you see yourselves in five years?”
“Shivaji Park vada pao stand,” Rohit obliged.
“Placing the IPL trophy at Nita Ma’am’s feet,” Pandya ventured through a bombastic side-eye to his counterpart.
“Past experience?”
“An IPL trophy and a runners-up medal in the last two years."
“Most successful IPL captain of all time with five trophies,” Rohit swelled up.
“When was the last one?”
“Irrelevant.”
“DID I STUTTER?”
“Tw-2020, just four years ago.”
“Four years ago I was still striking at 190, Maphaka had just become a teenager, and IPL still had the real AB playing in it instead of his baby-faced impostor,” Pandya thundered.
“Question three, who has had more Koffee With Karan appearances?”
“I am the only one, paanch saal pehle mai karke aaya tha.”
“What bullshit is that question? Why does it matter”
“Of course it matters, it is one of the highest TRP grossing shows still in India. Don’t you remember the sheer hype the show had brought to this guy and Indian cricket in general?” Big Boss interjected.
“And what does that have to do with anything? What in god’s name is going on here?” the panic continued to rise in Rohit’s voice.
“WILL YOU FUND THE WEDDING, YOU PRICK?” the amplified voice from the speakers immediately subdued all the chaos.
Rohit stood in stunned silence. Now he knew why the voice had felt so recognizable and homely. The veteran looked up at the camera with eyes screaming with pain and a face devoid of all joy.
“Et tu, Mukesh bhau?”
Rohit turned to Hardik even as tears welled up in the corner of his eyes.
“Congratulations on winning this rigged contest, I had least expected it. But remember, I am still the Men in Blue’s skipper and there’s a World Cup on the horizon.”
“For now,” a snarky response immediately escaped Hardik’s lips.
“Besides, we all saw how it turned out the last time I was sidelined at a World Cup. Remember, remember, the 19th of November.”
The complexion of the room instantly shifted. Vague curiosity and confusion had suddenly given way to a quiet discomfort and rage. Jasprit and SKY almost inadvertently shuffled a couple of steps towards their national team captain. Ishan, who had been peeking through the keyhole, whistled in favour of Hardik’s response.
The battle lines had been drawn. Mukesh shut off the mic in the studio and allowed himself a sly smile – the stage was set for a riveting season of drama.